By: Drew Bond

9 January 2004 Why Gay Marriage Won't Save Marriage: God demands more than mere 'love and commitment.'

In his opinion piece published in the Post on Thursday, November 20, 2003, Richard Cohen makes the case that gay marriage "could wind up saving marriage" in the same way that in his opinion gays are renowned for moving into urban areas that others have fled and fixing them up. Mr. Cohen argues that the reason for this is that "the best argument for marriage is love and commitment", and that gays, more than, straights, only want to be married because of their exemplary love and commitment to one another.

Hopefully, we could all agree that love and commitment are key elements for healthy, lasting marriages. They do not, however, provide "the best argument for marriage", or in other words why marriage exists. Marriage, like it or not, is undoubtedly a union between a man and a woman. Historically speaking, marriage began as a union before God to glorify God. Only later did the State come in and decide to "legalize" it for its own purposes. While love and commitment certainly do glorify God, and we could use a lot more of the both, love and commitment to a relationship neither created nor blessed by God does not glorify God. God brought man and woman together because he recognized that it is not good for man to be alone. He did not bring man and man together, or woman and woman.

By trying to make the case that promoting gay marriage in our society might in fact strengthen it, is like saying that the color black would be better if we just added a little gray. Black is black and white it white and marriage is a union between a man and a woman.

The institution of marriage, whether sanctioned by the church, the state, or both, is sadly "both wobbly and wheezing", as Mr. Cohen notes. And what it needs certainly is a strong dose of love and commitment. On this I agree. Marriage does not, however, need a larger constituency, a broader tent in the hopes of resulting in more favorable marriage statistics. What the institution of marriage, and the greater American society at large, needs is to better understand that the purpose of marriage is to glorify God. And perhaps moreover, what this society needs is a better commitment to our commitments, and to understand that love, more than a feeling, is a commitment.